We’ve been well and truly tangoed!

Last night’s tango was completely unexpected in terms of what we got: a keyboard player and an accordionist provided the dramatic music while our main man was a Latin singer of considerable presence and gusto and with an amazing voice. Considering he had no English, he commanded the full to busting theatre - 600 capacity, so nearly half the ship. He sang beautiful songs in Spanish and from time to time, dancers floated on stage to do their tango thing. Utterly stunning and captivating, the evening was over in a flash. Unfortunately, where we were sitting was not optimal for photos, so you'll need to imagine it! (The headline photo is from the Spinoglio Winery.)

We began today, with breakfast overlooking the dead ships’ graveyard - a sight we were to see more closely when we sailed away in the evening. Montevideo port is not the most beauteous and there are many vessels with dubious looking cargoes and clouds of dust flying up from their holds. Probably quite normal but mixing this with cruise lines is rather strange. 

Early on, there was a nice little pantomime with the forklift driver on the quayside being carefully directed into position by his mate, getting exactly into position, lifting the fork just so, so the mate could sit on it and have his morning snack! There’s a constant flow of vehicles bringing supplies of food, fuel and drink as well as others taking away the rubbish and sewage. You begin to realise what a massive logistical operation it is to run a vessel like this and to feed and water its 1400 guests and 800 staff - and ours is a relatively small ship. 

Today is the Complete Montevideo tour which takes in the sights and then heads for a vineyard for wine-tasting and lunch. How civilised! We were last to get aboard our bus so had the naughty seats, right at the back next to the loo. 

Just a bit of background: Montevideo is the most important commercial centre in Uruguay. The official language is Spanish although they began with Portuguese as did many other countries and peoples in South America. It’s best described as eclectic with a mix of architecture styles, people and languages. There’s a fast ferry across to Argentina through the River Plate which is not a river, actually, but an estuary. It’s the scene of the famous battle where three British battleships held the pride of the German navy, Graf Spee, in the worst possible situation. They’d engaged in battle and though the Graf Spee had superior firepower, the smaller and fleeter British vessels had damaged it to the extent that it need to hide in Montevideo. Given that Uruguay was a neutral country, the authorities gave the Germans 72 hours to repair and leave otherwise their vessel would be impounded and the crew imprisoned. Sabotage during the repairs meant that there was no chance of a successful departure from the port, so the commanding officer had the ship move out into the bay where he then scuttled it. 

The rangefinder from the top of the ship - easily identifiable - sits in the entryway to the port area along with the story of its fate. 

The eclectic buildings include the bizarre Salvo Palace in Independence Square. It was the highest building in South America in 1920 and for many years after. 

Teatro Solis is a beautiful neo-classical building which matches the original government building adjacent. 

The overall effect is ruined though by the 1960/70s towers which look to be slightly decaying and which drip water constantly from the air-con units that stand out like carbuncles from many windows.

There were protesters in Independence Square, opposite the main government building, demonstrating for better jobs and better pay. Gabrielle commented that they might be better served by getting out and looking for work!

In both 1806 and 1807, England invaded Uruguay but were unable to hold it. However, they left a legacy of commercial interests, 5 o’ clock tea and, of course, football. While we there, newly-elected President Lula from Brazil was on a visit. 

Our tour took us to some great buildings and monuments: The Covered Wagon monument was very moving, all built in bronze and representing the early colonisation struggles of the settlers. Where does the name Montevideo come from? Our guide assured us it was because of the 6th mountain from east to west = Monte -  VI - d E O. Not sure about that one! 

A popular drink here is Mate, pronounced matay. It’s like bitter green tea and is made with herbs and tap water. People use it to welcome guests, much as we do with a cuppa. 

And so to the Spinoglio Winery who are 4th generation winemakers. Their main product is Tanat - a grape variety. We were given the standard wine tour and were allowed to pick grapes and taste them - very unusual. After the machinery we went down into the cellar where big tables were covered in glassware and cutlery. 

We sat and were served a beautiful starter of dried meats, cheese and dried fruit and nuts. Then came the wine. A white first - Sauvignon Blanc. Delicious. Than a rosé which was, frankly, world class. 

Suddenly tango dancers appeared. Lovely and lithe, dancing to the sensual music of the South American subcontinent. Uruguay tango is supposed to be different from Brazilian but the message is the same: sensuality and foreplay!

The barbecue course was served. A huge plate of meat including beef, pork and chicken. Then the dancers reappeared and, oh horrors! They wanted us to dance. Gabrielle and I were hauled out to tango and, for those who recall my dancing skills, they’ll know I struck a pretty pose across the dance floor with my lovely Uruguayan partner. Just move your feet, she said. Now twirl me under. Now I do the same. Yes ma’am!

Gabrielle is meanwhile being twirled by a handsome chap in tight trousers and doing exactly as he says. God, the power! More wine - it just kept coming and we were supposed to be having a day off the booze. No hope. 

Then the full carnival thing with drums, plumes and feathers and bejewelled bottoms vibing to the tango beat. The guy next to us was in paradise, filming for all he was worth. Me? I was much more restrained, obviously. 

Then suddenly it was all over and we were on the bus heading for port. Probably the best cruise tour ever and if you ever come this way, don’t miss Spinoglio Winery! So now we are under way - after weighing anchor near the ships’ graveyard - and headed for the Falklands with landfall due on 29 January. But no doubt we shall have other tales to tell before then. Meanwhile, we make the most of the 30+ degrees here because we are going to lose 4 degrees per day as we head towards Port Stanley.