The city of the butt-lift, micro trunks and red lights

It has to be said, what we’re doing here, is a trip of a lifetime. So to that extent, we’re doing everything we can to max out on our experiences. We’ve actively chosen to do the trips rather than go it alone for a number of reasons. The main one being, you can’t get a better experience than from a knowledgeable, enthusiastic guide. They know the ropes, they know the shortcuts, they know the safe spots and the dodgy spots to avoid. We’re in these cities for such a short space of time, we really don’t want to make it up and get it wrong.

So it might seem dull to do the P&O shore excursions, but we’re learning so much more than if we walked around with our guidebook, potentially being harassed by hawkers, on the way. Being me, I’ve wanted to do everything. Even when we’ve had a half-day trip, I’ve wanted to cram something else in. It’s just not been possible so far though. Mainly because the trips run over time and because we’re so exhausted after them, primarily due to the heat. 

I had wanted to do two trips last night. Well, let’s face it, I’d have to decide which one to do, I wouldn’t be able to do both of them. One was a sunset trip on a schooner and the other was being entertained by a local troupe performing Samba. I’ve recognised one trip a day is actually more than ample, but would have really loved to have done an evening event too. So imagine my excitement when we found out P&O have put on an extravaganza for our own delectation, on the ship. 

And it was an extravaganza to end all extravaganzas. We were delighted from the get-go. We had tumblers, gymnasts, outrageous outfits, carnival outfits, headdresses and more butt lifts than you could shake a butt at. 

Now, personally, I’m not convinced all of the “women” were for real. There were three of which I had my suspicions. Not that it mattered a bit. It was great fun, slightly garish, but we all came away wondering how they danced at the speed they danced at. I loved the costumes, which were totally frou-frou, and I’m pretty sure Nick took a shine to them too. 

Due to the general noise of the city, it seemed politic to sleep with the balcony shut last night. Another early start this morning and when we woke, it was too mist and murk. It was only by stepping out onto the balcony we could really gauge the status of the day. Hot already. By 7.30 it was bright and sunny with the promise of 31 degrees. 

We’ve realised that with some tours, we need to leave a good amount of time to get to the allotted location. It takes a while to get from our aft floor ten to the forward floor four to disembark, then there’s the walk to the terminal building where you have to negotiate the arrivals committee which consists of map providers, tour sellers, taxi drivers, hawkers (including poncho sellers), crossing two active tram lines and getting to a disused warehouse (AKA the coach park) all whilst bleary-eyed. We gave ourselves 30 minutes for this task yesterday. Today we did it in 20. Getting experts!

After our experience yesterday with the luxury coach and the amazing Isabella, our experience today was a little different but didn’t totally diminish it. Our coach had seen better days, its suspension was shot, the PA system was shot and its baffles were shot. Lorena, our tour guide, did a sterling job though. Eventually, she gave up on the PA system, stood halfway down the coach and spoke as loudly as possible. As one of my “qualities” is that I have bat ears, I was tasked with translating for Nick and the gentleman on the other side of the aisle from us. 

There are a number of things the mind conjures up when you think of Rio (or maybe just Brazil in general), but I think the obvious one is the carnival. Here, the main one takes place in February and preparations started after last year’s event. It’s a competition and groups attend Summer School to create the best parade. Each parade has to tell a story. It’s a huge accolade to win the carnival. Each parade is separated by the Summer School flag, which is waved, generally by a woman and it is defiance to show their flag hasn’t been stolen.

It really doesn’t matter where you’re travelling in Rio, but the micro-trunk is a must-wear item of clothing by the local men. It’s a less-than-flattering enough look on the beach, but just walking along the road, it seems entirely incongruous. But this doesn’t stop them. 

The main event today was Sugarloaf mountain. There are two stages to the mountain. As we waited to board the cable car, the clouds started gathering. Noooooooo, not an action replay of yesterday on top of Corcovado, please. As we got off the coach, we could see quite a few rock climbers. If you look closely, you’ll see them. The cable cars are large and carry 65 passengers, all standing. I knew today I’d need my big girl pants on as I just don’t do heights. It was an exhilarating experience, if a tad scary. There are no pylons, which is sort of good, because you don’t get the jolt and sway as you go over them, however, all you can see are cables appearing to dangle in the breeze.

The first stage was lovely. It’s a fairly big area with shops, cafes and lots of exotic trees for shade. I stepped through the Wishing Tree and made my wish. It has to be something money can’t buy, and it was. We then went on to the second cable car and this time, I got my elbows out and got us prime standing at the back of the car. Let’s face it, I can’t come all this way and screw my eyes shut. One has to face one's demons head-on. Nick took a video of our experience, hopefully, he’ll be able to edit my fear and swearing out of it.

The top was super busy, possibly more so it being a Sunday, but also a bank holiday weekend in Rio as they celebrate Saint Sebastian, their patron saint. The views at the top were undeniably stunning. The mists had cleared and we were treated to the most amazing views. Then on the way back down, we were fortuitously at the front of the queue, so were able to take our pick in the car and went for the back. Again, another terrifying experience, but totally worth it. When we got to the bottom, the queues were immense and we could understand the warnings we’d been given that we may have to wait 2 hours for each cable car. Those people at the back would definitely be in that position today.

Then it was off for another bumpy ride around the city, taking in the sights and being given the history and buildings to watch out for. What we noticed though that all traffic lights seemed to be on permanent red, but that didn’t seem to deter our driver who simply drove through them all. 

Our final stop was the Metropolitan Cathedral of Saint Sebastian. This is a concrete construction, which it has to be said is not a thing of beauty on the outside, but is a complete joy inside. It was started in 1972 and completed in 1979. If you think Liverpool’s Paddy’s Wigwam, you’ll be in the right ballpark. The stained glass windows were utterly stunning and trying to find the one out of the hundreds I’ve taken, has been hard.

At 6pm the church bells throughout the city started chiming. Our ship sounded its horn and we cast off. Both Nick and I felt quite emotional. Rio, you’ve been a blast and we’ve only seen a dot of you. If you haven’t got Rio on your bucket list, I’d thoroughly recommend you visit.

It’s a quiet night for us tonight. Dinner in the room and a simple, plain omelette. We now have a couple of days at sea before our next stop. Oh, and a little event happening on the high seas before we get to Montevideo. Yikes, better learn my lines.